To Have Loved and Lost Was it better than not having loved at all?
You loved and you lost. Was it better than not having loved at all?
I say YES. Days with him were bliss. You could talk non-stop and still have tons to talk about. Or you could be together in silence and be perfectly comfortable with it. Mundane tasks became exciting when done together. Places you’ve never been to became unforgettable adventures when traversed hand in hand and places you’ve been in seem new again with your sunshine by your side. For someone who never had anyone, it was a feeling both amazing and terrifying. You were forced to explore a part of yourself you didn’t think existed - that you could be mushy and jealous among other things. That it’s not such a bad thing to depend on others and accept help when they extend it. Things couldn’t get any better, you thought. And then it stopped.
You loved, and you lost. For whatever reason you lost. But you know what? That’s fine. Remember you were whole even before anyone entered your life. Adjustments here and there, but you are a whole person whose life is not anchored on someone else. Another person’s existence does not define yours.
Keep on. Move on. That’s the thing. Loving with your whole heart is a double-edged sword. He may choose to love you back with the same intensity or he may not. But again, that’s the thing about love. You are not supposed to keep track of the things you did or what your lover didn’t do. It’s not a checklist of sorts or an exam that you have to pass. As long as you know you did everything you could, you won’t have regrets. So even if despite everything you still lost what you thought was the love of your life, you are going to be alright.
You are you. And you deserve the kind of love that will take you as you are. Everything your past deemed you “too much” or “too little” of will be just right for the next one who comes along. But even if that someone takes a little too long to get to you, or even if he doesn’t arrive at all, you know what? You are still going to be fine. You will live a life of love and fulfillment because you are the kind of person who does her best about the things you are passionate about. So yes. You are going to be the awesome person that you have always been.
Rock on! <3